A gift

Billy, Daniel, and I went to the beach today after church. It was really a nice trip (even though Daniel cried pretty hard when he decided to jump onto an abandoned skim board and went flying – landing smack on his back.) During our visit, I started thinking about the recent trips we’ve made out there…and how we’ve been more times in the past year than we went the entire 7 years we lived at Peninsula Cove combined.

It all started on June 8, 2011, the day after we saw Edward’s heartbeat for the last time. Nancy took me to Isle of Palms (IoP), and we spent a really great morning, talking, crying…just being. The six weeks that followed included several life changing events: I delivered a baby boy by VBAC, buried him, had two formal surgeries, sold the home we’d built from scratch, and bought a new one, relatively close to IoP. After our move, we returned a few times before the colder weather arrived.

And now it’s spring, and we’re returning to the same beach. And I thought today, we’re there because of Edward. He was the reason we listed our house; he was the reason we bought a new one. He was the reason Nancy and I went to the beach on June 8. And in a way, he was the reason we were able to go today. In a way, I feel like it’s a small present that he left with our family. I may not have him, photos to remember him by, or many memories of the time I spent with him (a hand wave on an u/s, watching him arrive in the world, marveling at how tiny and perfect his hands were) but I have this. We all have this. And I’m so thankful for it.